A Quest to Hard
by Silver the Kid
Summary: Thanks to the Twilight Mirror messing up, Link gets brought to a new world- the modern world. Link tries to carry on anyway, getting involved with street people, drug dealers, convenience stores and the local police. TP
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Ok, hi! Yea, no this isn't your run of the mill "Character comes into the real world" story. I think it's kind of cool, however, I'm concerned if I go onto further chapters it won't be cool any more, it'll be lame… SO, I'm leaving it up to you people to tell me if it's good enough as is, or if I should actually like… further develop and solve the plot line. I'm sure you guys will know when a story should just be left alone. :)**

**Also, I'm actually Canadian but I always assume no one would get my references to Canadian things like the loony or the toony and like… stuff like that… So if anything seems TOTALLY wrong, blame the fact that I haven't even been to the states since I was 4 and that was just for disney land.**

**PS: I obviously don't own Legend of Zelda or any of its characters.**

* * *

"I'm telling you! It's my destiny to defeat the evil Ganondorf!" A blonde boy with blue eyes sat at a metal table, bright light pointed into his face, causing him to sweat. Link, the chosen hero, sat in handcuffs in an interrogation room.

"Oh for crying out LOUD, kid, you expect us to believe these "springs" have little light animals in it that tell you to kill crime bosses?" A man with a cigarette snapped, slamming his fist on the table, startling Link.

"Alright son…" Another one, who was sitting across from Link smiled. "Let's start again shall we? You say you're from a place called Ordon? Now that must be a small town, because I've never heard of it."

"It is, sir, there's only like…15 people in the whole village! Like I told you, I worked as a farm hand on a ranch, when I got caught up in saving the princess from that Ganondorf guy! I was just returning from the twilight realm when… well I ended up in this new place. I lost connection with my friend Midna, so I don't know how to return to Hyrule! What I think ACTUALLY happened is that Ganondorf turned Hyrule into this disgusting hell hole- so the only way to return it to its green and glorious beauty is to kill that Ganondorf once and for all!"

"Alright, this kid has smoked entirely too much grass." The bad cop snorted.

"Son, we don't allow vigilantism in this jurisdiction- I understand you want to help bring down Ganondorf. I mean, we've been after him for years-"

"So, you're the resistance?" Link asked hopeful. It sure wasn't Rusl and the gang, but whatever; he'd have to take what he could get.

"No, ya smart ass, we're the freaking Police!" Bad cop snuffed out his cigarette and turned to his partner, muttering. "We should just lock him up for being too damn weird."

"Son, you're just a kid, but you should still have the common sense to know that running around with bombs and "swords" are not acceptable. You should lay off them Batman cartoons and leave the crime fighting to us professionals."

"You guys are NOT LISTENING! The world is going to end unless I go out there and save it! Look! Look at my hand- if I wasn't who I said I am, would my left hand be glowing with the symbol of the tri-force?!" Link snapped. "I'm a GODDAM HERO! Ok?! LET ME DO MY THING!"

"You're really pissing me off… If you think a freaking tattoo is gonna impress me kid, you're wrong. Last chance before we lock you up kid, WHAT IS YOU'RE NAME?!"

"We just want you're name, alright kid? We'll call your mama up here and she'll take you home- if you co-operate you're looking at 5 months community service- but if you continue to be difficult, you're going to end up in Juvy or worse. You want that?" Good cop asked.

"I don't think so…" Link blinked. "Ok, listen, I'll start over, ok? I'll try to be as DETAILED as POSSIBLE, and maybe you'll see it my way…"

FLASHBACK

"Ready to return to the light world, Link?" Midna asked. Link nodded. He stepped into the light and waited. The mirror reacted and started to pull him through. He closed his eyes as his body began to transport- he didn't like seeing his body all morphed and twisted as it traveled though limbo. Suddenly Link felt funny. "Link something is wrong!" Midna screeched. Link opened his eyes and saw their portal disappearing. "The mirror is being tampered with!" Midna gasped. Link screamed as he was pulled by the force of Limbo in a different direction from Midna. "LIIIIIINK!"

Link woke up, staring at a dark, starless sky. Towers with hundred of windows were everywhere, and not a patch of grass or a tree in sight. It was loud- worse then Castletown. He realized he was in an Alleyway, and ran out into the crowded street. A few people in funny clothes were running around. Machines he'd never seen before whizzed by him, creating a huge ruckus. Link ran back into the alley in a panic, and hid behind a metal bin that held waste in it. He curled up into a ball and tried to calm his breathing.

"Link, this is no time for a panic attack!" He hissed at himself. It was so loud, and scary out there… like Castletown, the Twilight realm and HELL all mixed together! He knew this was the work of Ganondorf. His black and evil heart willed this beautiful world to look like this scummy kingdom of bad air and filth. After a moment of hyperventilating between his knees, the blonde hero managed to pull himself together. Link went through his supplies. He still had everything- just no Midna. She must have been sent somewhere else… possibly somewhere else in this place. He had to find Ganondorf and kill him so he could save Zelda and return home, and carry out a normal existence of baby-making with Ilia. Yes, sexy times a wait!

Link ran out into the street again, avoiding the dangerous grey path with the mechanical monsters zipping by. He saw a man standing at a corner, smoking. He ran up to him, hoping for information.

"Excuse me-"

"We'll you're a real freak in town, eh, kid? You come from one of those weird conventions?"

"Uh…can you tell me what happened here?"

"Where?"

"Here… you know…" Link pointed around. The guy shrugged.

"I must have missed the action, kid." This answer confused Link, but he pressed on.

"Oh… Well I'm trying to find this guy Ganondorf…"

"Seriously? Friend of his?"

"Uh-"

"Well you've come to the right guy, I'll bring ya to him, if you buy something from me."

"Ah, ok!" Link smiled. He loved random walking merchants. Even if they weren't Goron. "What do ya got?"

"Well, we got the usual here."

"So blue potion, red potion, bombs…" Link asked.

"No man, I ain't no arms dealer, but I can hook you up with a buddy of mine. What's blue and red potion slang for?" He asked, but didn't let Link answer. "Alright, first, you into chemicals at all?"

"………..Nnnnooooo…?" Link was uncomfortable.

"Ah, I see, a bit of a hippie eh? Ok, I got some grass, and some mushrooms... seeds…"

"OOH!" Link smiled. Grass for Epona- wherever she is… and he LOVED mushrooms! "I'll take a bag of both!"

"Ok… I'll charge ya 40 for the quarter of weed, and 50 for the quarter of shrooms."

"Um…" Link dug into his wallet.

"Kid… no offence but I don't trust that weird currency."

"Oh… you don't take rupees?"

"No, does this look like Russia?"

"………….." Link didn't know what that was- as far as he knew it COULD be…what was that place he said?

"I'll be here when you get some actual cash." The guy looked away from Link.

Link knew what he had to do.

It had been hours of cutting though bushes and grass, and digging up soil- the long part was finding such things in this place- but he had not found much money- and what he did find he wasn't even sure if it WAS money. He was disheartened. His quest depended on him finding 90 cashes!

"Hey sonny, can you spare some money?"

"Sorry sir, I only have Rupees, and that's not legitimate currency anymore. I blame that evil tyrant-"

"Yea since he got elected into presidency things have been rock bottom for me too…"

"How do you get cash?" Link frowned sitting beside the man.

"Well some people work for it… I prefer to sit here and ask for it, and some people give it to me."

"Hm… I'll give it a try!" Link smiled.

"Not on this street you won't! Street kids always make more money then us old street guys. Everyone always feels bad for those street punks, cuz they have some sob story about being abused, or their parents kicking them out…I'm addicted to Heroin, and no one feels sorry for ME. Asses."

"Oh… kay!" Link awkwardly ran away to find a new street to sit on. He took his cap off and held it out. As people walked by he smiled pleasantly "Hello fair maiden, but could you help me out, for the good of the world?"

"Aw, you're sweet." A young girl dropped some money in his cap.

"Thank you!" Link grinned. He kept at it, but got a lot of "GET A JOB YOU BUM." Perhaps this was not the best way to get cashes. He wasn't even sure of the value of the cashes he had.

"Excuse me sir!" Link stopped a young man.

"I don't have any money, sorry."

"That's ok, I have to ask you a question." Link stood up and reached into his cap. "What is the value of this cash?" He held up a paper.

"That's one dollar." The man frowned. Link had an accent he couldn't put his finger on, but he just assumed the boy was foreign.

"So one cash? I need 90 of these to have 90 cashes?"

"…sure. You know the value by the number on the paper."

"I SEE!" Link felt like a moron. "That's so obvious…"

"Yea… there's also a five dollar bill, a 10 and so on. These coins, this is a quarter, so that's 1/4th of the dollar. 4 of these are dollar. 10 of these dimes make a dollar. 50 nickles, these things I have? That makes a dollar. And 100 of these little brown pennies make a dollar."

"Wow… so many ways to make 90 cashes. Now, is there some way I can work for this stuff?"

"Try this place behind you, it has a help wanted sign."

"Thanks for you're help, sir!" Link put his hat on and walked into the store. A man at a counter smiled at him.

"Hello young man! Welcome to 24-7!"

"You have a sign saying you need help." Link pointed at the window.

"Well… do you have any experience manning a shop." The man asked, his accent very thick.

"…No, but If a 7 year old can do it, so can I." The blonde shrugged.

"Fair enough sir. Here is you're uniform!"

"Can I keep my hat?"

"Eeeeeeh, ok." The shop keep shrugged, figuring it to be some weird religious thing. "Now, to use the cash, swipe their purchases under here, than press this BIG button. Then take their money and put it in here and give them back their correct change. It's EASY! Good bye!" The shop keep left abruptly.

Link frowned at his uniform. It was a red shirt with a blue collar. He took off his tunic, chainmale, and white long sleeved shirt, tossing them under the counter. He put the stupid shirt on and put his sword and shield over top of it and waited. The man made him a little name tag, and Link struggled to get it on his shirt- stupid fiddly pointy thing…

Hours went by and Link was just tempted to take the money right out of this stupid box and get his stupid grass so he could find stupid Ganondorf!

"How much are you're hot dogs?" A man who had been loitering for an hour asked- of course the sign that said how much the hot dogs cost was right in front of his face. Link's eye twitched in irritation.

Some teenage boys walked in and Link saw them put some stuff in their jacket. Stealing? Not on his shift! Link jumped over the counter and rolled into action. He pulled his sword out and slammed it into the wall, an inch away from the first boys head.

"AAAH!"

"Stealing in MY 24-7 shop? I think not, thief!" Link gave the boy the look of death, with his piercing blue eyes.

"You're crazy!" The boy squeaked. "Come on, be a pal to you're fellow delinquent youth! Don't make a big deal out of this."

"Return those junk foods to me and I'll allow you to live!" Link didn't even blink.

"Ok!"

"No one ever got anywhere with stealing." Link snorted at them as they ran out- never mind he steals rupees out of people's pots all the time…

"Nice work kid." A man in the shadows chuckled.

"Who are you?" Link asked, although he recognized his as the annoying loitering man.

"Just a humble customer. Kid, how do you like this job?"

"Well it's not what I really want… See I'm a hero, and I need to save the world right now, but to do that I need some cash. But jobs take too much time. I need a quick 20 minute job that I get paid big cashes for!"

"Well I might be able to help you with that… meet me out back in 5 minutes."

"Ok…" Link watched the man leave and looked around. He changed into his hero clothes, and opened the till taking out the key- and as an after thought he helped himself to the money he was owed for working. He locked the door and went to the back alley. "Hello?"

"I said five minutes!" the man snapped.

"I like to be early."

"Oi."

"So, what can I do for you to make some serious cash?" Link asked, curious.

"You're pretty skilled with that sword… you wanna be a hired…. Uh…swordsman for me?"

"And kill monsters? SURE!"

"Alright, you kill this man here…" The man held up a picture.

"He's not a monster."

"He sure is kid, don't let you're eyes fool ya… he was messing with my wife… well he's going to get it! You do this for me, and I'll give you 1000 bucks!"

"Is that cash?"

"…Yes…"

"I'll slay this villain for you sir, no problem! Where can I find him?"

"I'll mark his house on this map."

Link held the map above his head. "I have acquired the city map! Now I will know where I'm going!" Link ran off, sword drawn. The man wondered if maybe this was a mistake…however, he had to appreciate how cheap getting this man killed ended up being.

* * *

"Hm…" Link looked at his map. It looked like the right spot. He couldn't get the door open. He knew there had to be a secret entry somewhere… He looked all around the house. No switches, or cracks… nothing. And even the side door was locked… He slumped to the ground and sighed. This quest was too hard.

Link glanced to the step and saw a rug. He wondered if maybe… he lifted the matt and under it was a key! He held it up high, in triumph.

"I'm too awesome." Link smiled, unlocking the door. He entered the house, quietly. It was dark. He brought out his lantern and tip toed through the bottom floor. Nothing. He decided to sneak up the stairs… a light was on! Link hid behind a door, and saw the man from the photo on a cell phone.

"Don't worry baby, he may have found out about us, but he wont do anything. What? YOU BITCH! You're picking you're husband over me?! Wedding vow- like I care about you're wedding vows with that loser! Oh you whore! You just wanted to make him JEALOUS?! Forget that trip to the Caribbean, you back stabbing tramp!" He slapped the cell shut and threw it into a pillow. Link was certain this guy was evil by the words he called that poor damsel. Link slammed the door open and presented himself.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!" The man screamed.

"Villain, I'm here to put an end to your infidelity!"

"Did my wife send you?" He asked.

"Wha… No… the husband of… WOW you really are an asshole… Prepare to battle!" Link pulled his sword out and held his shield in front of his body. The man reached into a drawer and pulled out a gun. Link ran at him and swung his sword, breaking the lamp on the bedside table. The man aimed and just barely missed Link. Link screamed in shock and in pain as the bullet made a cut in his fore arm.

"What is that!?" Link cried, holding his arm. "OW! Why don't you use a sword, you jerk!" The man took aim again, and Link decided to not play fair. He brought his blade down through the man's arm, slicing it clear off. The man screamed in pain. "Don't mess with the tri force, ass hole." Link drove his sword through the man's chest and took the man's gun to prove he killed him!

* * *

"And here is his now useless weapon." Link presented it to the man who hired him.

"It's not useless…"

"Really?" Link frowned. "Hm I should keep it then, it may come in handy later in my quest."

"Maybe… So as promised, you're money. Great news, my wife is going to stay with me, she told the marriage councilor this was just a ploy to bring the spark back! Sex has been AWESOME! You didn't really need to kill him after all…"

"Oh…" Link frowned, feeling guilty now. He took his money and returned to that first corner.

"Back eh?"

"Yep! That deal still stand?" Link asked hopeful.

"Sure thing, kid. Cash?"

"Right here!" Link smiled, presenting it to him. He handed Link two bags and Link held them up triumphantly- until he was smacked.

"Wanna get us busted, ya moron? Hide it!"

"Oh, sorry!" Link shoved it in his pouch. "Now, take me to Ganondorf!"

"Alright, follow me." They headed into a shady run down building along the river front. Link glanced around, wondering what Ganondorf was doing in this place.

"Hey boss. I have a kid who was looking for ya, friend of yours?" The corner man addressed a chair behind a desk. The chair spun around to reveal a man with red hair… but oddly pale skin. Hm. Link thought Ganon had red hair and DARK skin. He also was under the impression he was... like… tall and strong and intimidating. This guy was more like Jaggle… strange.

"Boy, who are you? What do you want of me?" He asked bored. "Are you another one of my ex's kids I never met, coming to get money from me?"

"…NNNNOOOO…You know who I am. I'm here to put an end to you're evil! I am LINK the chosen hero!"

"… cute… Kill him." Ganondorf sighed. The men pulled out their guns, and Link knew now was the time to use his newly acquired weapon. He shot it at the first guy he saw- but that was it. Nothing else came out of it.

"Dammit! I don't know how to restore it's power! Shit! Screw it…" He pulled out his bow and arrows, and with his speed killed all the men in the room but Ganondorf. They had really hurt Link with their weird loud weapons. He was bleeding everywhere. He fell to the floor in pure pain, looking at his leg, which had gotten the most damage. He was struggling to breath- he was pretty sure he was going to die if one more person attacked him. Nothing in his life had ever done this kind of damage before… Link reached into his bag and grabbed some blue potion. The blue potion magically healed his wounds and he was able to stand again.

"Kid, I don't know what you want, but you're not going to get very far." Ganondorf was totally weirded out.

"I want you're head Ganondorf! Where is the princess!?"

"…I'm going to assume you mean that beautiful young girl I kidnapped for ransom. I see. It's business, kid. I have people who won't co-operate with me, I find ways to MAKE them. If that man ever wants his daughter back, he'll have to agree to my demands."

"Tell me where she is, NOW!"

"No, I don't think so." He smirked. Link pulled out a bomb, and threw it at Ganondorf. Ganondorf gasped. "You're mad!" He fled, and it blew his desk up. Link chased after him, up to the ceiling of the building. Link didn't see him anywhere… But he did see a big flying thing… He used his hawk-eye to see it better. Sure enough, Ganon was inside. ESCAPING. Link put a bomb on his arrow, and aimed. He released, but it missed, and hit a dilapidated building beside them. Some debris struck the flying machine and it caught fire on its tail. Link sighed and returned to the main floor. As he stepped outside, finding that there was no Zelda in this place, he was surrounded by flashing lights.

"Don't move! We have you surrounded! Drop you're weapons or we'll be forced to shoot."

"Hm." Link frowned. He dropped his sword, bow, bomb bag, quiver and the ball and chain. The voice waited a moment before continuing. "Uh… put your hand on your head, and get on you're knees…" Link sighed and did as he was told.

END OF FLASHBACK

"Yea… sounds WORSE when you tell it in detail… So you kill a man for money, buy drugs with it, then go and kill a ton of drug dealer's hench men… and we're NOT arresting him, why?" Bad cop turned to Good cop, inhaling his fourth cigarette.

"Kid you sit tight, we're gonna check you're fingerprints to see if you're in our records." The two left, whispering to each other as the door slammed shut. Link sat in silence for a moment, glancing around the room. After a long while of silence he sighed sadly.

"This Quest is WAY too hard."


	2. PART TWO!

**WOW... i did not mean to take this long to add this new chapter. I kind of forgot about it... for a long time. Anyway, i hope all of you enjoy this second and last chapter, or PART TWO as I like to think of it.**

**And i'd like to go on record saying that i don;t own Link or Midna... or iPod... although i do own one iPod.**

* * *

Link stared outside through the bars of his window. It was no surprise they threw him in the dungeon. He was surprised, however, that it wasn't far below the city, with rats and cold stone. In fact the walls were very soft and padded… it was comfy for a dungeon cell. No chains on the wall either. They even went as far as to give them beds- not comfy beds but a bed none the less.

The Hyrule he remembered had several poor souls stuck together in a small cell, chained and tortured in the cold dank cells, staring at the rotting corpses of past prisoners. This was a surprising improvement.

He had been stuck in the dungeon for a few days now though, and was becoming discouraged. Everyone was so obsessed with him as well. Constantly they interrogated him asking him who he 'really' was, and where he came from. He only gave vague answers, simply stating nothing more then what he told the soldiers- or police as they called themselves. He now suspected that these people must work for Ganondorf and not Zelda like he originally thought.

Sighing, he laid back down on his bed, waiting for sleep. He started humming something, a song he knew from home.

"Link!?" He heard from his window. He shot up quickly and ran to the window.

"MIDNA?!" He gasped, happy. "I've been captured! We gotta break me out!"

"Yea I see that- I've been looking ALL over for you! I was suspecting you got captured and started to investigating this prison like place…you need to get out, they've stuck you in a place full of insane people."

"I know! This place is bizarre! They let you leave your cell and sit in a room with other prisoners once a day."

"Really?"

"Yea, man, how would this ever deter criminal offences? I wouldn't be scared of stealing if I ended up here! What a strange world Hyrule has become." Link shook his head.

"Link, I don't think we're in Hyrule anymore…" Midna frowned. "After wandering around looking for you I've learned some things." Midna turned into little bubbles and sifted through the bars easily. "But that's not important. We need to get you out of here."

"Well, there's no switches or anything, and I don't have any items, they took them all." He frowned.

"Well, we'll have to get back your stuff, because you know we won't get anywhere without them. I mean, without the master sword you'll never kill Ganondorf."

"How do you figure we'll escape?" Link asked. Before he could finish his sentence, Midna's hair turned into a large hand and broke the door down. "Ok, we better run."

Link shot out of the room, his bare feet pattering on the floor. And alarm went off and he began to run faster.

"Running, running, running, running, running!" He panted, sliding as he went around a corner. Orderlies came at him from all directions, and he was barely dodging them. "Shit, shit, shit!" He quickly slid between the legs of a large orderly and sped down the hall. He saw a bin full of laundry and jumped into it without hesitation. Panting he prayed to Din no one would look for him here.

"Hey! Anyone see a kid with pointy ears around here?"

"No, I haven't!"

"We need to catch him! If I was him I would be looking for my stuff…"

"Yea, good call. Let's go to the vault! His stuff is still in there."

"Did you hear that Link?" Midna gasped.

"I'm always conveniently over hearing the information I need to." Link mused.

"Shut up and follow them!" Midna hissed.

"Midna! They want to kill me; if I get out they will break me in half!"

"FOLLOW THEM!"

"I hate you." Link poked his head out of the dirty laundry and glanced around. He saw the men heading down the hallway and leapt out. He snuck after them, quickly. Fortunately Link was part ninja or something because he managed to stalk them without a problem. "Now what?" He whispered.

"Um…" Midna frowned.

"Why aren't they like normal guards that don't really do anything until you're right in front of them?" Link hissed.

"Throw a rock?"

"What rock?"

"Um…" Midna looked around.

"This is too hard." Link sulked.

"Shut up, we'll get your stuff back. We just need to distract them."

"…Whoa… whoa, I have an idea."

"No Link, that's probably just a head ache again."

"Would you listen!" Link growled. "Turn me into a wolf."

"Here?"

"No Midna, at the circus. YES HERE."

"What's a circus?"

"…I…uh… Turn me into a wolf, dammit!"

"Ok." Midna sighed. Link grunted as his body shifted into the form of a wolf. He ran at the men who were standing around the vault and began growling at them.

"Whoa… whoa!! Shit, that's a big dog!" He backed up. "I'm gonna call animal control!"

"Sit! Stay! Back?" One held his hands out in front of him, backing up slowly.

"What do we do?" The other man asked. The first man felt around, and his pockets jingled. He pulled out a heavy hunk of keys. "What are you doing with those?" The second asked uneasily. The first man whipped the keys at Link, hitting him in the face.

"RUN!"

"You moron!" The second chased after him. "You're going to provoke him!"

"Just run! Hopefully it'll chase the keys!" Link heard the first man say as he disappeared around the corner. Link suddenly turned back into a human.

"Well that worked surprisingly well." Midna snorted. Link rubbed his face where the keys had hit him.

"I didn't think he'd just give me the keys though… Owwww."

"That's just lucky. Come on, let's get your stuff and get the hell out of here." Midna waited for Link to find the right key. He smirked as he finally got the door open and went inside, looking for all his items.

"Now, Midna… is there anyway you can warp us back home?"

"Um…" Midna coughed. "I'm… I'm not sure?"

"I'm sorry, that sounded like you're USELESS to me!" Link grumbled.

"Who are you calling useless?! If it wasn't for me, you'd be rotting in a cell- AGAIN!"

"Ok, fighting with each other isn't going to help." Link frowned. "We just need to figure a way out."

"Well, let's just fight our way out." Midna shrugged. "Onward hero." She ducked into his shadow. Link grumbled. It was too easy for her to say that. She wouldn't be fighting at all. Link opened the vault door and noticed several men standing outside it discussing the events with the large dog.

"Whoa, forget the dog! We found that kid!"

"Um…" Link shut the door again.

"LINK!" Midna scolded.

"Sorry." Link coughed, pulling a bomb out. He took a breath and opened the door, throwing it out in the hall.

"What is that?" One asked. Link ran past them before the bomb exploded. Using his shield to slam people out of his way, he eventually (after running around in circles and getting confused by elevators) found his way out of the mental hospital. He kept running until he was very far. He hid in an alley, while he caught his breath.

"So… Midna…can you…tell me what you…DO…know?" Link panted.

"Well, I know where the mirror sent me. There was a mirror just like it there, and it was some sort of… temple. There was lots of stuff behind fancy red ropes."

"Ok… we need to go there." Link pulled out his map. "Anything familiar?" He and Midna studied it closely.

"Moo…see…um… of ancient history? That sounds like it could be it." Midna pointed to the map. Link looked at a street sign, and found it on the map, and frowned.

"Damn, that's on the other side of the world."

"Well, no warps, no horse… we'll have to walk it. But before you go anywhere… we need to change you're clothes to fit in with the locals." Midna smirked. Link rolled his eyes.

* * *

2 hours and 500 cashes later, Link had a whole new outfit. He wore short pants, which had several pockets- a requirement for Link. They were held up by a heavy and studded belt. He bought some sort of footwear that was neither a boot nor a sandal that were called 'kicks'. He picked out a green pair with a white toe. He got himself a green tee shirt with an interesting image on the front that appealed to him. However, these "trendy" clothes as the clerk called them were not what cost him so much. First it was that he was convinced to buy a skate board. Second it was the fact that Link was very attracted to the music in the store. He had never heard such music. The guy told him where he could by himself something to play this music on. So, link hopped down to the next store and bought what people were calling an "iPod." Link got a pair of 'headphones' to go with it. Tragically there was no sound in it.

So, then he was told he had to import music on it from a computer.

"Um." Link frowned looking at the clerk like he had a second head.

"Dude, it's easy."

"What's this… com…pyoo…ture you speak of?" Link frowned.

"…you're a lost cause man." The clerk walked away from him. A girl giggled from behind.

"Modern technology a little much for you huh?" the girl laughed. "You use to be Amish or something?"

"…Yes?"

"Whatever, hey, I'll help you out." She led him outside and pulled a laptop out of her back pack.

"What is that?!" Link gasped.

"My lap top?" She frowned. She brushed her pink bangs out of her eyes. Link frowned. She had piercings in her face which creeped Link out. She took his charger and plugged it into her laptop.

"I'll give you a wack of music. Hope you like what I like."

"I like music!" Link smiled.

"Yes… but what types?"

"… happy?"

"Wow, your…special…" She shook her head. "Ok, so I've just rammed you're ipod with everything from rock, punk, emo, goth to hip hop, trance, and techno. You should be happy." She handed it back to him.

"Thanks." Link smiled. He put his head phones on and fiddled with his mp3 player until he heard music. He smiled, pleased. "I've never heard anything like this!" He shouted. The girl glared and pulled his head phones off.

"Don't yell."

"I was yelling?"

"Anyway I'm glad you like it. Maybe I'll see you around?"

"Maybe. I'm going to the Moo-see-um of ancient history."

"…You mean the museum?" She laughed.

"Yea. I got myself this board with wheels to get there."

"You… could just take the bus."

"Bus?" Link blinked. She laughed again and pointed to a bus stop across the street.

"Yea, just wait there and take the 27 south. Ok? Ask the bus driver to tell you when you're at the museum and he'll let you off at that stop."

"Thanks! You've been really helpful!" Link smiled, jumping on his board and heading towards the bus stop. He had gotten really good at using it quite quickly. But then again it was like his spinner mixed with that ice sled he used at snow peak mixed together.

Link tried to make idle conversation with people at the bus stop, but no one would speak with him. They just stepped away from him or quickly ended the conversation with him. Link frowned. People were so cold in this place.

"Hey young brother…" A old man on the ground called up at him. Link remembered him! He told him how to get money all those days ago. "Ya has any money?"

"Money? Do you mean cash?" Link asked.

"Yea." The man belched and scratched his stomach.

"I do, why?"

"Wanna gimme some?" the man started to stand, stumbling towards Link, and leaning on him.

"Well, I need to get to the museum… how much money do I need to get there?"

"I'll take you there for free if you pay me!" The man hiccupped. Link thought this sentence over in his head.

"Sir… I think its best if I take this bus of 27 south to get there."

"No, no, they just want to get you on their death bus so they can take you to a prison camp and torture you for information."

"…No… Really?" Link gasped. He hushed his voice. "Do these people know that?"

"Who cares! Give me some money, I aint drunk enough."

"I don't think we should trust him Link… he seems drunk." Midna whispered from his shadow. Just as she said this the bus pulled up and people got on the bus. Link frowned. "Get on the bus Link!" Midna ordered. Link started to head to the bus but the man grabbed him.

"No, sonny, don't do it."

"But sir!"

"They'll brain wash ya like all these sheep! Sheep to the slaughter! Join me, I'll show you the ropes! I'm God you know."

"…God?" Link blinked.

"Link!! The bus!" Midna cried. The bus pulled away but Link didn't care.

"Yes, and I need an assistant… you wanna be him?"

"Well… I… I guess I'm obliged to. I am a hero."

"Excellent. Give me money." The man leaned against Link and Link fished in his pocket for money. He pulled out some bills and gave them to the man. He waited for something wonderful to happen.

"…Why didn't anything happen?" Link frowned. "If you're a god, why didn't something miraculous just happen?"

"Don't worry about that, God wants rum so to the liquor store we go." The man stumbled away from Link and was gone. Link frowned.

"I think I was tricked."

* * *

Eventually another bus came and Link got on this one this time. He sat uneasily in a seat. He jumped slightly when the bus started moving. He looked out the window, and realized how fast he was going. Epona never went this fast!

He put his head phones on and started listening to music, just like most of the people on the bus. He anxiously watched the others on the bus. They were so calm. To him this was terrifying.

"Look Link! That looks like the temple! Let's go!"

"… How do I get off this thing?" Link asked himself. He noticed someone stand up and a bell rang. The bus stopped shortly after and they started to get off the bus. Link shot up and lunged out the door before it closed on him. Lying on the ground outside he panted. "That was close." He laughed. "Almost shut right on me." He brushed himself off and ran inside the museum. A person stopped him.

"Excuse me young man, you need to buy a pass."

"…to go into a temple?"

"This isn't a temple young man, it's a museum. There are only pieces of ancient temples in here. And you have to pay to see them."

"…but… I gave all my cash to a man who said he was God! I spent my last 'three dollars' on a 'bus' ride here!" Link grumbled. "I NEED to find the mirror! Please just let me in!"

"No, you have to pay like everyone else!"

"I'll do something for you, anything. Just let me in!"

"Anything?" The older man raised an eyebrow. "I really shouldn't allow myself to be bribed but…" He took Link aside into a private room. He shut the door behind him. He smiled at Link and unbuttoned his uniform jacket. Link gulped.

The man reached into his inner jacket and pulled out a wallet. He handed money to Link.

"I have some seriously bad… um.. well lets just say I need you to run down the street to the drug store and buy me some Imodium. It's dire." He coughed embarrassed.

"What's Imodium?"

"What? You've never seen the commercials? Like the one where the guy is in a hot tub and the guys like 'hey how's the diarrhea' and everyone is all grossed out and the guy is like "gone, I took Imodium". You've never seen it?"

"No?"

"Not even the one-" The man stop mid sentence. "Ok just go, quick, quick!" He pushed Link out the door. "I'll be in the bathroom right there!" He pointed and ran. Link went outside and hopped on his skateboard. He looked at his map, but 'Drug store' was not on the map. He frowned, and sat on a bench.

"This is so hopeless! I was so close!" He buried his head in his hands. "Why is it whenever I get close to success something has to come in and trump it?! I just wanna go home." He sulked.

"Stop your whining Link!" Midna snapped. "What kind of hero sits around sucking his thumb while crying for his mommy?! NO HERO!"

"I'm not doing either of those things!" Link frowned.

"You're quitting just because you can't find some stupid store?!"

"This is too hard! Nothing makes sense! He didn't tell me where to find it, it's not on my map- this world is so huge, it could be anywhere!" Link kicked a garbage can in frustration. "These people don't play the game right!"

"Wah, wah, wah." Midna mocked. Link crossed his arms and ignored her. Most of the time they got along, but whenever Link was feeling discouraged and frustrated, she just made it worse. This whole place had him on edge too, which didn't help.

"Hey, Noob." He heard a familiar voice. He blinked, it was that girl.

"Hey."

"You found the Museum I see." She smiled.

"Yea, but it doesn't matter, I ran out of money. The guy said he'd let me in if I bought him 'Imodium' from the 'drug store' but I don't know where it is."

"Oh, it's just around the corner- two blocks down that street." Link could barely contain himself. He pulled her into a hug.

"You're so helpful! You must have been blessed with the triforce of wisdom or something!"

"Thanks?" She pushed him back. He smiled and ran off without a good bye. She shook her head and continued on her way.

* * *

"Mister, mister!" Link called out once he returned. "I got it!"

"Thanks!" He heard a flush and two seconds later the man came out. He took it from Link after washing his hands. "Now, I'll let you go in like I said." He pinned a clip to his shirt that worked like a pass. Link smiled pleased. Once he was alone Midna came form his shadow.

"Where to, Dude?" Link asked.

"Ew, don't talk like these people." Midna wrinkled her nose.

"Why not?" He sulked.

"They sound stupid. What the hell is a dude anyway?"

"I haven't a clue." Link shrugged. He followed Midna as she drifted in search of the mirror.

"I remember it being around re-deads."

"I'm out!" Link turned around.

"LINK! Get back here you big baby!" She hissed. "This is our only way home!"

"But Midnaaaaaa!" Link whined. He hated re-deads. They were the scariest anything ever in existence. He's rather eat his hands then deal with them again.

"I don't believe you." She shook her head. "Come on, oh brave hero. Get your tail out from between your legs and find the mirror." She ordered. Link coughed and continued down the hall way. He entered a big room filled with weird sculptures and images. He then saw them. Re-deads. They were lying in their coffins. He froze, waiting for them to take notice of him and scream and hit him with their huge swords from hell.

However it just sat there.

"Hey… I… I think this re-dead is really…dead?" Link walked closer to it.

"HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO there." A man came from no where scaring the hell out of Link. He fell back onto his rear end with shock. "Sorry, did I scare you? People tend to be a little jumpy around the 'mummies'." He laughed. "All those movies you know." Link didn't even want to know what a movie was or what a mummy was exactly. He just wanted this guy out of his face. His phony smile was worse then the Flight-by-Foul man's.

"Yea… well…bye." Link was as socially awkward as ever.

"Did you have any questions? I am some what of an expert on ancient Egypt!" He followed Link as he made his way.

"No." link answered curtly. He glanced around, poking at items. The man frowned.

"Please stay on this side of the rope."

"What is this, eh?" He poked a sculpture, only to have his hand swatted.

"That's Anubis- God of Death."

"He's a dog."

"A Jackal actu-"

"HEY! The Mirror!" Link ran towards the mirror, almost knocking a display over.

"HOLD ON!" The man chased him. "Don't touch that please!" He grabbed Link's shoulder and glared at him.

"Let go! I need this."

"No! You stay on this side of the ropes Young man!" He ordered. "This ancient mirror is believed to be the looking glass of Cleopatra."

"What? That's ridiculous." Link snorted.

"Well… we don't… have much proof of it… except it was found in the desert…and… in some sort of ruins…and… it's pretty and… I'M THE EXPERT HERE!" He crossed his arms.

"It's a teleportation device to go between worlds." Link stated.

"Oh, right, like that's not completely absurd."

"I'll prove it. Let me cross this rope and I'll show you something amazing."

"Absolutely not. I'm calling security to escort you from the museum!" He huffed, he then started speaking into something, and Link panicked.

"Link! Go now!" Midna ordered. "Or it's back to captivity!"

"Security is on it's way!" The man smirked. Link saw men in uniforms heading their way. He began to panic. He shoved the man away and knocked over the red rope. He was about to stand in front of the mirror but Midna stopped him.

"Wait! They might follow it! We have to break it as we leave!"

"How do we do that!?" Link panicked.

"Well…" She was interrupted as the guards came closer.

"It's the kid from the news! He's dangerous!" One yelled. Link yelped and jumped infront of the mirror.

"No time!" he panicked. The steps formed and Link began to run up them.

"Stop or we'll shoot!" They yelled.

"Link, Wait. Wait till they shoot then jump through!" She demanded. Link began to sweat and hyperventilate. Those weapons REALLY hurt.

"Midnaaaa…."

"WAIT for it." She snapped. "Pull out a bomb."

"Oh man…" He pulled out one of his bombs.

"He's got a weapon! Open fire!" They shouted.

"Jump Link!" Link jumped out of the way dropping the bomb. He went though the mirror, and the bullets and bomb broke it into pieces.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! SO much history!" The guide screamed.

* * *

"HOOOOME!!" Link leapt onto the sand and kissed the ground, stopping only to spit the sand out of his mouth. "Regretting that one." He muttered.

"Come on Link, let's go help Zelda now!" Midna ordered. She transported him to castle town. Once there everyone looked at him funny. The kids pointed and the women whispered. Even the people he knew cocked eyebrows at him, as if he were the strangest sight they'd ever seen.

"What's their problem?" Link asked as he tied his shoes and adjusted his head phones on his ears. Dropping his skateboard to the ground he headed for the castle. "You'd think they'd never seen a swordsman before."

END!


End file.
